Completion of my I am, I am, I am art journal


 This was quite a voyage of discovery for me.  Initially it started out as a way of learning some art journaling techniques to see if I could make the method work for me.  I definitely struggle to cut out images and words from magazines to make coherent art but I love the results that other people produce and wanted to see if learning more about it would help.

I don't know that I really got much further forward in that regard, but I certainly found out a lot more about myself and produced a journal that delights me :-)

I followed Julie's prompts to find out what topics I would use for each spread - the inside pages came first and the cover came after I had finished.  In all, it took about 3 months to complete... some of the images have been published elsewhere in my blog, but it seemed fitting to put them all together to show the end result.

Front cover

 My front cover has a Celtic triskele, which felt highly appropriate for both the past / present / future aspect and for the triple wording of the I am, I am, I am title.  The background is sponged acrylics over white gesso; the basic triskele was an attempt at a print transfer which didn't work out too well, so I painted over it with a fine paint brush with black acrylic.  The writing and spiral were added freehand.

First spread

So my first spread was about the things which are supposed to be important to me, the things that society, my family, other people have all indicated to me are the trappings of success (trapping being the operative word!!).  My house, my car, my degree certificates, my marriage, conventional learning and knowledge (represented by the owls) and all the gold stars that signify approval from other people. 
Looking at this once it was complete, I was struck by how little my achievements fill the space.  It looks really empty, which was how I felt about most of these.  They didn't fill me with the happiness and sense of pride they were expected to, I wasn't satisfied with my life and didn't really know why.

Second spread

 The second spread moved on to my less conventional achievements - my energy work, my Reiki, drumming, shamanic journeying, mandala work.  This whole spread looks so much lighter and brighter to me, lots of sparkle and embellishments.  I look at this and smile :-)  These things all mean so much to me!

Third spread

The third spread was for all my other activities and things which make me happy.  My pole dancing, my skydiving, my Jack Russell Pippin who is sadly no longer with me.  Sailing, swimming with wild dolphins, fast cars, indoor rock-climbing, aerial silks, hoop, Vision Quests, abseiling, Stonehenge at sunset, The Wildlife Centre, drumming - a very eclectic mix that sums up contradictions and paradoxes in my life :-)

Fourth spread

 This spread took a long time to complete.  The handprints were a spontaneous act when playing with some modelling clay - I was trying to soften some old clay with water because I wanted to make a model of a goddess and my hands were completely covered with gloop.  I went to wash them and suddenly saw my background spread laid out where it had been drying for a couple of days.  On impulse I splatted my hand straight onto the page, then liked the effect so covered the spread. This was supposed to be about my cheerleaders, the people who support me, nourish me and keep me going so it took a while before it came to me how to best represent that.  In the end, I added butterflies and hearts for all the wonderful women in my life, through my Mandala Mavens, Goddess Guidance circle, Sassy SHE sistas, my close friends and confidantes and so on.  And paw prints for my beloved Pippin who is the spirit of my Reiki healing drum and who I feel close to me frequently.

Fifth spread

There was a time when I thought this spread would never be completed.  It was meant to represent where I am now, what my path in life is and I had no ideas at all.  I created the background and it sat looking at me, day after day.  Then one day I was doing some intuitive writing and a poem just flowed, which is the one I copied onto the left page.  That then led to the realisation that I am a writer - whether it be through my occasional poems, my journaling, my blogs, articles, random notes, love letters, long emails to friends - it doesn't matter, I just love to write.  And so, after a while, when I couldn't find an image that fit, I decided the most appropriate thing was actually the words :-)

Back cover

This came to me at pretty much the same time as the front cover - I sponge painted the front and back at the same time as a single spread (see below) and it's fascinating now to see how the colours changed through my art journal.  It started off very green and blue, with the odd purple accent then suddenly changed dramatically as I discovered my calling.  And that followed through with the spontaneous sponging of the cover.  I absolutely adore spirals, they have been a theme for me (along with hearts) throughout my mandala course and so when I found this image online, I had to recreate it.  As with the front cover, this was an attempt at an ink transfer that didn't work very well, so I ended up painting this on with a very fine paint brush.

Cover, as it was painted